just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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