Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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