I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
