I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
