i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
