Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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