he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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