this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
