Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
