Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
