she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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