I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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