if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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