wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
