Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
