She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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