i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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