ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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