Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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