This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
