Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
