Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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