didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
