the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
