is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
