Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
