my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
