STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
