I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
