I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
