She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
