Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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