Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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