when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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