i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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