did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
