I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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