If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
