If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
