Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
