I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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