If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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