I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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