During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
