my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
