I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
