I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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