you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
