the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
