Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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