glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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