That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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