I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
