he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
