Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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