I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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