what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
