More tranny stories later!
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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