apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
