Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
