You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
