It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize