I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
