She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
