I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize