ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
