I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
