the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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