Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize