Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
