Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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