is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
