I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
