maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
