4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your mouth is God's brothel.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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