i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
