I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
