How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
