check it out our google latitudes are spooning
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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