you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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