so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's great music for shaving your balls
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
